Still
by Hareta
Summary: YukimuraXSasuke. "You have no idea-- do you have ANY idea how I could have almost died!" "I thought you weren't afraid of death, Sasuke." I would have died without knowing the truth, believing you have betrayed us, betrayed me! After the battles...


**Title:** Still  
**Series:**Samurai Deeper Kyo  
**Author:** Cherry  
**Rating:** PG-13 for shounen-ai and slight violence  
**Pairing:** YukimuraXSasuke (yaoi)  
**Author's Notes**: Set in PU, after the fight with Shindara or with Nobunaga, your pick. Please bear with me, I've only seen up to the 25th episode but I can't rest until I've written an SDK fic. Warning: yaoi, _extreme_ OOC-ness and inconsistent plotline. Dedicated to my friend and fellow YukimuraXSasuke fan, osmalic. Please R&R!  
**Disclaimers:** I don't own Samurai Deeper Kyo.  
  
_"Yukimura, if we don't stop now, Sasuke's going to die!"   
  
"I'm sorry but--"_   
  
Sasuke woke up, drenched in cold sweat, his gray-white bangs clinging to his forehead. He half-heartedly pushed them away but no matter how damp they were with perspiration, they kept on falling back. He didn't notice, not bothered to move the annoying strands away. None of them covered his eyes anyway. Which was good. He could no longer rely on his hearing to take note of his surroundings, only his sight would save him now. Pounding, loud pounding. His heart beat at a pace it had only done once or twice before. Sasuke wondered why everyone was still asleep with the racket his heart was making, one shaking hand gripping the handle of his sword, the other the front of his kimono.   
  
_"You're not worthy of the name Saru--"_   
  
Even awake he could see it, Shindara's pale hand, the ghostly hand of the immortal man reaching out for him. The hand was reaching for his neck, he couldn't breathe....   
  
He felt slender fingers on his throat. Sasuke jumped to his feet, surprisingly managing to push the hand out of the way, sword unsheathed and in front of him. Without thinking he leaped at the shadow that stood behind the tree he had been sleeping against. They fell backwards, Sasuke straddling his attacker's waist, positioning his sword where he thought his opponent's throat would be---   
  
"Inari, Sasuke, what are you doing?!"   
  
He recognized the voice. Sasuke blinked, and then he could hear perfectly well again, the pounding of his heart no longer ringing in his ears. He wasn't even breathing hard. The body beaneath him, however, was panting.   
  
"Yu-Yukimura-sa--"   
  
"Are you all right?" the man asked, cutting him off. Numbly, he pulled his sword out from his master's chin--- he had come so close to slitting his throat!--- and backed away. Yukimura sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his head. "Sasuke, are you all right?" he repeated after some time.   
  
How could he ask that?! He had almost died that day in the hands of the man who once bore his name!   
  
"I almost killed you and you ask _me_ if I'm all right?!" Sasuke exclaimed instead, sheathing his sword. it didn't occur to him to be surprised at the calm reaction he got from the man. "Don't _ever_ sneak up on me again like that, Yukimura. Ever."   
  
"What happened to '-sama'?" Yukimura asked in a tone from which Sasuke couldn't tell if he was serious or joking. He didn't know what or how to answer. He didn't have to. "Look, Sasuke, we had to do it. The Muramasa--"   
  
"I would have given you mine." It was now Sasuke's term to cut the man off in mid-sentence. To hell with respect and courtesy. "You could have asked, you _should_ have asked. I would have given it to you at a drop of a pin. You didn't have to go through all that trouble."   
  
_You didn't have to fool me._   
  
"Sasuke, you have to understand, a real Muramasa chooses its master, not the other way around. I was lucky enough that the Fifth accepted me as its master so easily, and so were you with the Fourth. But had we tried to force me on it..."   
  
"But why...." Sasuke trailed off, looking away. With the man sitting like that on the grassy ground, Sasuke was only a bit taller than him. He could feel Yukimura's eyes on him but he couldn't meet them.   
  
_Why did you have to fool me?_   
  
"Like Saizo had said, we need to deceive our friends first before we can deceive the enemy. We didn't know whether to tell you or not-- so we left the decision to you. You would have known if you had went with Saizo, but you went with Kyo's group instead," Yukimura answered, as if he had read what was in Sasuke's mind. If Sasuke didn't know better, he could have sworn he heard the traces of jealousy and bitterness in Yukimura's voice. It could have also been just his imagination. "Sasuke?"   
  
He didn't answer. His wooden mallet with the red ball attached to it on a string was right next to where Yukimura sat, lying close to the tree. Sasuke bent down to retrieve it, still not meeting the man's eyes---   
  
There was movement. "Speak to me," Yukimura whispered right into his ear, the man's proximity taking Sasuke by surprise. His master was leaning towards him, so close, too close, one skilled hand encircling his wrist before the tips of his fingers could touch his toy. A sigh, unusual for the Yukimura he knew. Sasuke involuntarily shivered, feeling the man's warm breath at the back of his neck. "Sasuke...I'm sorry."   
  
He snapped, golden eyes flashing. Jerking his arm away, he turned to face his master. But they were so close, too close, soft lips met just as soft ones, his outburst muffled in an open-mouthed kiss. His breath left him and he could feel the man take it in before pulling away. Sasuke closed his mouth awkwardly, tasting something new in his mouth. He knew, it was his master's sweetnes accentuated by the bittersweet taste of sake.   
  
"Do you forgive me?" Yukimura asks, the same smile Sasuke and the rest of the Sanada Juuyuushi knew so well slipping easily into his face. One hand reached up to cup the left side of his cheek. "Do you, Sasuke?"   
  
"No!" he shouted in an insane jumble of frantic fear and boiling anger inside him, pulling away from the warm hand and backing away. Golden eyes were glaring and filling with tears at the same time. "You have no idea-- do you have any idea of how I could have almost died?!"   
  
"I never knew you were afraid of death, Sasuke," Yukimura whispered, his smile turning upside down into a frown. A pause and then--- "_Are_ you afraid of death?" he asked, like the naive little child one could easily mistake him for if not for his appearance and position.   
  
"I'm not," he quickly answered, looking away again.   
  
_I could have died without knowing the truth, believing you had betrayed us-- betrayed my trust!_   
  
Yukimura didn't reply. Sasuke dared to face him after some time had passed, finding the man looking up at the sky, still sitting on the grass in front of him. Moonlight filtered through the leaves, falling in numerous faint rays around them. Yukimura's deep blue eyes glittered like sapphires and wisps of his hair framed his pale face like black fire. The scene seemed almost surreal to Sasuke.   
  
"The unlocking of the True Muramasa," Yukimura suddenly said, snapping Sasuke out of his reverie, "It wasn't because of the fight with Kyo." Yukimura turned his face towards him, blue eyes studying his face critically. Sasuke fought the urge to turn away again. "I didn't, _couldn't_ block or dodge his attack because I had been too concerned-- distracted, too concerned of you, Sasuke." He smiled. "I unlocked it not because my life was in danger..."   
  
Yukimura stood up, taking a step closer to him and closing the distance between them. Sasuke's body couldn't move, didn't want to move. Even as Yukimura's hands reached for his neck...and then his cheek, cupping it, gently stroking it with his thumb.   
  
"...but because yours was...Sasuke, I know it isn't--"   
  
"--I don't care."   
  
Sasuke closed his eyes. For the second time in less than an hour his master's lips were upon his. This time, however, it wasn't accidental. They both knew it wasn't right, but neither cared. It felt too good.   
  
"I'm sorry."   
  
When he opened his eyes, Yukimura was gone.   
  
**Owari**   
  



End file.
